philter

Trying to put together the puzzle of my existance. There must be a way to break through the resistance. My Mind refuses to believe my eyes. The happy side cannot win no matter how hard it tries. There is a war raging in my head. If it ends I will surely be dead. I know the out come of it all. The good side would surely fall. Not everything turns out the way it should. I would change it if I could. My life is not in my hands. That is just the way it all stands. To be back in her arms where I belong. My mind retaining hope though I know it's wrong. There is no hope for that day. She's not coming back my way.

Tossing and turning not able to sleep My eyes drowning me as I weep When I close my eyes you are there Taunting me saying that you care I cannot stop missing you There is nothing I can do I'm almost to the point quitting I'm sick of the pain and the sitting This cannot go on this way Is it going to be this day The day I finnaly end my pain Cut myself open and let the blood drain For you I would bleed myself dry Because of you I do nothing but cry Without you there is no reason to even try You are my reason for everything why This pain is tearing me appart inside It is easy to see on the outside My heart has fallen appart from ach

I don't feel heathy and I don't really care Cause no one can help me and all they do is stare Gonna dig a little hole and hide inside Wait to get old and then I'll die There is no reason to bother with everyday life I've got nothing to offer except a big knife So take it from me people are asses And they'll never see stuck in their classes We're all headed for silence when we die So quit with the violence and don't you cry Everyone is worm food after a while One great big crude festering flesh pile

you consume my thoughts and i wish you would stop you're etched into my brain always rising to the top i can have no peace and there is no release no matter what i do can't break away from you how can you just let go how can you just say no you lied to me about what you had said it makes me feel as if i were dead you said you could never be without me and i was ready to kneel down on my knee the words that you spoke aloud love for me is what you had vowed but that was all just a lie and your love for me ran completely dry why did you torture me in this way you made me belive that we were okay you ripped my heart away from me

what am i getting in to what am i going to do winter is coming soon i will surely change my tune my sadness is coming back there is something that i lack can't let go of my past and i know this isn't going to last another mishap to add to my list another reason to want to not exist

a tear forms in my eye wishing i could cry i am happily depressed not feeling so obsessed familiar sadness clouding my mind finally i can again unwind i've been wishing for it's return watch me as i begin to burn dying slowly inside tearing me open wide not wanting to confide sweet depression to hide my heart is aching the tention breaking the return of myself but need to watch my health i might end up letting go not really meaning to though i'm comfortable feeling this way hiding myself from the light of day keep myself locked away some day i'll be okay

my heart is being ripped from my chest missing my past everyone says it's all for the best why can't things last there is no going back i keep on trying no return of the things i lack and i start crying a lonely bird that can't return to it's old nest i can only hide out in the cold world along with the rest death took me alive waiting for my past a wicked spell cast

my heart hangs as heavy as can be my body aches for you to hold me my eyes show my loss with every tear my hands reaching out to draw you near in my dreams i used to hide but now they just repeat the day that I died that very second that I lost you there is no language that can describe how i feel there are no pictures that can make it all real my insides have all fallen out my mind now completely worn out there is nothing left of me but memories you locked all the doors and destroyed all the keys that very second that i lost you the pain has from you dulled my senses the sadness has raised my defenses my days spent pondering

The blood running down the life draining from me soon I will be free you needn\'t feel this way i know it\'s hard every day but you have friends who care some more than we wish to share. Releasing me now bleed the pain and suffering all the wondering Take away my past take away what is to be don\'t let them see me I don\'t belong here I don\'t belong anywhere I don\'t really care Life has no meaning

Oh what a mess I don\'t know what to do I must confess I still love you Leave me alone Far too much attention Speak to atone Things not mentioned I can\'t let go Forever trapped by you Think you should know I still love you